i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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