dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
