I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
