Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
