how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
