You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
