oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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