Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
