So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
