end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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