your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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