He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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