theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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