I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
