Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
