call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
