I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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