Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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