kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize