Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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