you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
