My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
