as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
