filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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