i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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