You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
