i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
