ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
