what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
