Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
