There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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