xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Can you bring me the toilet please
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize