watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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