This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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