Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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