So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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