but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
