so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
