We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize