:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
the raccoons are back...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
