yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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