I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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