Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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