Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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