just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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