WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
