yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
