Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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