Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
