So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
being pregnant is like rehab
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
