I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
