pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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