only if we run a train.
done.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
