Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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