I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
